WORDS

Yes, it doesn't.

2012-01-03T02:13:00.001+08:00

I love music.
It never disappoints.

2011-12-20T00:53:00.005+08:00

You know that feeling when you're expecting something so bad, so freaking bad that you think you could die just waiting for it to happen? In the end, whatever it is that you're expecting turns out to be a fragment of your bloody imagination waiting to turn sour on you. Then all it leaves you with is that sinking feeling of regret. Extreme regret because for once in your life you cannot help but blame yourself for being such an idiot. An idiot for thinking that there might actually be a possibility, the tiniest of possibility even, that something will happen. For believing yes, an idiot for believing that it might happen when in actual fact, it won't.

2011-12-04T00:49:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you say all the right things.

And it's all that matters.

Woes, begone.

2011-09-14T01:18:00.003+08:00

On some days I feel like shit, I don't know why but I just do.

This excessive emotional baggage that comes with being a girl is unnecessary. I keep telling myself not to overdo it, I've never been good at handling shitty emotions. I used to cry a lot because I have so much shit stocked up inside my head, I over-think, I keep thinking about things that may never ever happen and it can't be helped, I just do.

I get paranoid, I reflect on my imperfections, I question my reasoning, I judge my rationality and I go against my principles. I'm a hypocrite, yes I am.

No Iezah, don't fall back on your words, live by your principles and never challenge your reasoning. I'm not cut out for these emotional nonsense, because I know I'm born happy.

2011-08-01T00:38:00.001+08:00

Honestly, that was pretty harsh. I don't know if you meant what you said but I'm really sorry for intruding into your personal space, I honestly didn't mean it. Please take good care of yourself. Get better soon. (:

2011-07-03T23:26:00.005+08:00

I don't like to be stuck at crossroads. I don't want to do things because I've got an ulterior motive. I don't want to lie to myself, and others. I want to be certain of myself, of what I do, and do things for all the right reasons, based on the right path.

Ya Allah, please show me guidance.

I want to be a better Muslim.

2011-06-27T11:06:00.009+08:00

Emotions are a part of us that make us human.

Everyone is entitled to that freedom of expression, it's a given that they are able to channel their emotions the way they want to, the way they feel the most comfortable whilst doing so. No one holds the right to stop others from openly showing sadness, anger, joy or even love.

You show anger through open rage, yes you're infuriated, and so? The most appropriate thing to do (based on majority's standards) is to suppress it, or slowly come to terms with it rather than openly inflicting hurt and affecting others around you. Yes, we do judge and we judge that expression of anger of yours negatively.

How about sadness? Well, you can bawl your eyes out or you can choose to lock it in. Depending on your strength and how well you can seal it in, but for how long though? Let it flow out if you can and trust me, someone will be there to lend you a shoulder to cry on. Don't feel embarrassed. Remember, we are human beings after all and even the toughest of dudes started out as a bawling baby. What makes the rest of us any different?

Joy. Surprisingly, it is one of the few emotions or maybe the only emotion that has "positive outcomes only!" written all over it. Joy is an emotion overflowing with warmth although sometimes injected with a little bit of sadness; all of it coming together to bring about a feeling of intense chaotic excitement. It represents the best of all emotions, an addition of every single emotion with only the best bits in them taken and put together to give you something precious; a smile.

Love produces positive outcomes. That is what everyone expects out of love. Definitely, because love is an apt representation of purity, what other than a pure heart that gives love? Even the most evil of mankind deserves love. Love softens the hardest of hearts and weakens the strongest of strengths. Everyone deserves to be loved just as how they have loved.

One thing though, love cannot be forced. Neither can you buy love nor can you extort it out of someone. That ability to love is a given, hence you treasure it the most you can. You give love to those who deserve, and ultimately you protect your heart from careless love. Do not callously love for the sake of a fling, for that instantaneous joy, the spur of the moment, for a void or a need that you want to fill there and then, because of a temporary attraction, or simply because you haven't found the right person to love. You do that and you're toying with someone's emotions, you simply destroy their right to express love.

Don't love, unless you're ready to give love and accept it as it is.

الحمد لله

2011-05-27T23:34:00.012+08:00

I'm living each passing day uncertain of what's going to happen in the next minute, the next hour or even the day after. I assume that's how every single one of us live our days; uncertain and anticipating every minute, every hour up to the point till we've exhaust all our activities, our energy and the possibilities for that one day.

I'm waiting for August, for the start of a new school term on NUS's campus. Alhamdulillah, I've made my choice, which is the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (mt-related).

For this, I'd like to express my gratitude and immense thanks to Allah, syukur Alhamdulillah for this blessing in disguise, an opportunity that I thought was never possible in 2010.

It was difficult to accept the fact that I had to return back to school and retake my A levels in 2010. Up till now I could still remember shedding uncontrollable tears, thinking about the bleak future that lies ahead.

Alhamdulillah, all that changed.

Maturity and determination took over, I held my head high knowing with full certainty that the possibilities are endless, and that failure is only temporary whilst success is imminent.

Thank you to my teachers who have been constantly supportive, my friends who never tire of telling me that I'll achieve success and remind me to give my fullest potential. I will never forget you saviors. Thank you for being there during my darkest days.

And of course, thank you ya Allah for granting me the strength and courage to move on, when I find it impossible to do so. He is the guiding light when everything goes dark, the warmth that embraces me when I'm cold and alone; the answer to all my prayers.

Now here I stand, uncertain of the future yet full of anticipation for a new chapter in my life.

Till then, I'll live every single day with gratitude, with many thanks to the Almighty,

thank you Allah.

This made me smile :)

2011-04-30T00:50:00.001+08:00

Validation from grzegor on Vimeo.

IT

2011-04-28T00:08:00.007+08:00

It trickles down like rain, it smells of sunshine and rainbows and everything you wish you could capture in a bottle. It glows like the moonlight, casting an eerie glow over the shadows of your arched back. It shines like a diamond ring and it encompasses the beauty of your smile. It flows like a freshwater stream, a synchronized motion like a dance; it moves in the direction of the underlying currents. It captures your attention like how attraction presents itself to a mate, like how honey appears to a bee, like how love mesmerizes its victim and paralyzes sanity. It spreads warmth in the cold winter storm, it breathes life into still objects and animate the non-living. It kisses me goodbye,

and with a fluttering smile,

leaves;

And

was

left to wonder

what

is.

2011-04-23T00:51:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,

I wonder how you're doing.

Bump In The Road

2011-04-13T01:06:00.013+08:00

We all must go through it sometime

You were not the first, you know

You stick your head in the sunshine

Don't expect the worst, though

If a bird can sing with a broken wing

You'll learn to bend when the wind blows

The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall

This is a bump in the road

Don't give up, you will make it

We all must go through it sometime

You were not the first, you know

Love got more hooks than a fish line

Belive it hurts, oh-ooh

Out of the dark

Into the light

Over the edge

Over your life

We all must go through it sometime

You were not the first

You stick your head in the sunshine

Don't expect the worst, oh-ooh

If a bird can sing with a broken wing

You'll learn to bend when the wind blows

The leaves may fall, but the trees stay tall

This is a bump in the road

Don't give up, you will make it

I have an architecture aptitude test this coming saturday for nus.

Am still weighing my options and I've not come to a conclusion/decision.

I've got an interview/writing test for English Literature (Division of English) for ntu this Friday.

Am still weighing my options but I've probably made up my mind.

Choices are difficult, choices are your opportunities to a better future.

That is if you pick the right one.

I'm glad that I was granted the opportunity to talk things out with my friends who are experienced in both avenues, it greatly helps in this painful decision making.

As much as I'm like a tight ball of nerves right now, it's inevitable that sooner or later I have to face whatever it is that might very well be a door to a better future.

It never really occurred to me that university is the start of one's career until a friend pointed it out to me today and I think that must be what's keeping me up tonight.

I don't usually have trouble sleeping but I find tonight an exception, yes, there are too many things playing inside my head.

And yes, you piss me off sometimes.

I'm sorry, I hope you'll never come across this post but GOD, IT'S BLOODY TIRING TO ALWAYS GIVE IN. EXHAUSTING, MUCH? RAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

If you do, I'm sorry this had to be spelt out in front of yo' face.

I tried to be understanding, acknowledge it will you please? I don't care if you are moody/pissed-off-like-shit but please don't jeopardize an AGREEMENT.

If you can't do it, SAY IT.

I was really hoping for that kind gesture, and you've agreed to help out, remember?

Don't make me get so worked up over such small matters. If there's no agreement to RENDER HELP IN THE FIRST PLACE, by ALL MEANS, pms as much as you want.

It just gets at me that you refused to do your part and it might cause things to not work out at the last minute. Have that courtesy to warn/inform me in advance.

Fucking exhausted as you are, I am too. But did I argue? No.

I was in fact, concerned enough to ask about your well-being

and all I ask is for you to do the same.

There. I hope this frustration dies down and it'll get better. Definitely.

I feel like doing a little research on architecture in the library tomorrow & read up on my lit materials. Then again, 30% of me feels it's pointless.

No, Iezah. That's procrastination talking. Get prep up, woman.

Aye.

Please don't have somebody waiting on you.

2011-04-03T00:48:00.004+08:00

It was enchanting to meet you that night.

"I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home

I'll spent forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you"

I find myself checking fb conscientiously, wondering if your name appears in a section.

It was nice knowing you even though it was for a while.

I wonder if I'll ever get to see you again. I hope I could.

Terrible health Thursday

2010-12-23T19:46:00.003+08:00

What a day today was.

I was running a fever, had a bad cold and I was pissed for the whole of this morning. Mum made me queue up for bro's books since today was registration day for Sec 1s.

We were given a queue number to purchase the books and mine was queue number 58, so I basically sat in front of a classroom, cross legged yoga-style and half awake.

Dozed off till they shouted my number.

Got my hair thinned because it's really thick.

But after I did, it turned out pretty disastrous because there were barely any hair left. No kidding.

TOO THIN TO EVEN BE TIED INTO A PONYTAIL AH.

Mum exclaimed "your hair look like sotong!"

Thanks ah, ibu. Made me feel so much better.

Come to think of it now, yeahh pretty much looked like one.

Refrigerator at home BROKE DOWN, HOMG. Yeahhh, helped mum clear out the things in that damn thing and now our kitchen cabinet tops are filled with things that are SUPPOSED to be inside the fridge.

Then again,

what made me happy today was just, when I browsed through youtube for Ellie Goulding and came across Temper Trap's "sweet disposition". I've been meaning to get that song earlier this year but I think it must have slipped off my mind till I came across a cover of that song by Ellie Goulding.

She covered it awesomely well, as usual. :)

Oh yeah.

Hopefully my cold recovers before saturday evening due to the long-anticipated family chalet and bbq during which we'll be bbqing steaks.

I. WANT. TO. EAT. STEAK.

So cold, shoo.

Tron: Legacy

2010-12-21T23:34:00.012+08:00

I watched Tron: Legacy today, my very first 3D movie hell yeah I'm a deprived kid.

The movie is practically a burst of bright neon lights, intense action-packed scenes repackaged with speed thirst stunts and booming with mind blowing audio effects courtesy of Daft Punk's "Derezzed". Basically, AWESOME.

Truthfully, I was more impressed by the audio and visual effects portrayed throughout the whole movie much more so than the storyline. Yes I've to admit, there were a few scenes which got me yawning, but the booming sound effects which basically echoed off the surround sound systems plus the blinding lights flickering and bouncing off the set and yes, their awesome costumes got my eyes glued to the screen.

One of the very much anticipated appearances was that by the "Light cycles", what one would perceived in the "digital frontier" called "The Grid" to be a motorbike-replica that moves at warp speed. Plus, it leaves behind a deathly trail of solid, luminous beam that acts as a barricade of some sort. As expected, sudden contact with the barricade would trigger instant death in the form of disintegration, like shards of glass that has been smashed into smithereens.

The storyline is nothing much to boast about. Minus the action-packed exterior, it tells the story of a son's quest for his father who went missing when he was a kid, the love between a father and son only without the emotional and heartfelt scenes taking center stage.

It was instead, intelligently hidden within the harsh extremities of life in a whole new dimension, how a Creator despite his flawless intelligence ended up trapped in his own creation, and over-throned plus the whole idea of sacrifice, politics (typical), the minorities being subjected to suppression by the oppressors, evil misdeeds of all sorts, yes and definitely that overrated menace in villainy which is to take over the world.

Tron is definitely a must watch but do be warned that it is a science fiction film and hence, beneath the heavy overlapping effects and visual animations the storyline might not appear to be very clear. Then again, if you're a movie buff and anything will do, I highly recommend Tron: Legacy for its heart-pounding and electrifying visuals, not to mention how extremely good looking and mind-blowingly sexy the characters appear in their dark, skin-tight latex suits outlined with neon lighting. Now, who would be crazy enough to miss that.

Thumbs up, for the soundtrack.

Free-flow.

2010-11-23T06:49:00.013+08:00

Exams are over and the fear of having to sit through a year of intensive studying hasn't fully left me yet. I asked myself yesterday, what have I accomplished for this one year?

It's sadly overwhelming that when I concluded the exams, it didn't make me feel any better. It's horrifying because as much as I try to rest assure myself that I might be overreacting and that it's not as bad, it doesn't help that I keep thinking about how doable the papers were and that I could've done better.

It has become an emotional turmoil that can't be avoided and it pulls at my heartstrings. I shed tears at the beginning of this year, I shed tears in the midst of preparation, I don't want to have to shed another tear next year. I don't want to, I really do not want to.

That aside, I want to tell you that it's okay to let go of your emotions. It's the first step to repentance: you realize, you regret and thereafter you seek forgiveness from the Almighty. Insya Allah, you're well on your way.

Revelation :) Yes indeed, it's an interesting process. Feels like a glowing lightbulb above your head, revelation's like enlightenment and I'm glad that you view it in a positive way, to further improve yourself as a person. I'm sorry if it was selfish of me, to not have informed you of it earlier. But after yesterday, I fully understand your thought process, and you became aware of mine. That's how 2 different human beings work. Everyone's different, and what they think is right, might not be our right, what they feel is wrong, might not be our wrong. "I am what I am because of who we all are". Go figure. Ripped it off from somewhere, if you took a min to try and understand that, it makes sense provided you're not confused and all.

I want to be a better person, I aim to be a better person. Some things that my friends say and do leaves me wondering sometimes, how I could improve myself further, improve myself to accommodate their needs, their likes. How far should I go to keep them happy? Yes, I'm a people-pleaser. As unpleasant as that may sound, I'm like that. And it dawned upon me that I'm doing it all wrong, someone made me realize that I shouldn't have to sacrifice so much, to make others happy. Yes I can, but to some extent. She doesn't like to see me get hurt in the process sometimes, to keep them happy. I understand what she's trying to say, so thank you :) Maybe because I feel obliged to do it, even if it physically and psychologically hurts me deep down. (I hope I don't become a victim of abuse one day) Nope, I'm not that stupid.

I take it that my friends know when to draw the line, and I have my limits as well, so if you've exceeded mine, I will tell you that you've had. For now, I think I relish seeing their smiles, their triumph and the joy we all share, being with one another. Don't worry, deep down, I'll keep in mind that I love myself more, so so much more and I'll keep a lookout for myself as much as I keep a lookout for all of you.

And you,

you don't have to feel alone at home love, I'm here and we're near. Give me a call, okay.

2010-11-19T09:27:00.004+08:00

I need to go find someone to watch HP 7 with.

After last paper?

Speaking of which, here I am back at square 1, well not literally. Just the fact that holidays are almost starting, again.

Nice, except that I'm praying hard history won't repeat itself. Else, I'll bury myself deep inside a black hole.

You're charming, I wish that you aren't.

'Cause I hate feeling this way.

I fell.

2010-10-02T19:59:00.001+08:00

Deeply smitten.

Let it out.

2010-08-30T01:08:00.017+08:00

You cry and laugh at the same time. You feel retarded,

but you don't care.

As the tears flow faster, the laughter comes harder.

And then it hits you hard.

How much you miss it all.

300810.

There's just so much that you want to put into words but truth be told, thoughts don't come in bite-size pieces. It's compressed thoughts like these that you wished you could somehow dig out, uncompressed and lay them out in plain sight.

Thinking about things every single day leaves me wondering if there will ever be a day when I'd actually stop thinking and live to see the end of that day.

The possibility is highly not likely and it kinda makes you think, what if we do actually live off our thoughts. Interesting, eh?

Prelims are almost over, A's are coming to a close and I'm still intact. That's good seeing that I was doubting my physical and mental state prior to retaking A's.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my friends, those around me who have been sticking sweetly close by like honey.

To my makciks who are like my constant supply of happy pills, Shiqah, Nadiah, Yana and Zakiah, thank you, for having filled my Year 1 and Year 2 life in school with laughter, tears and even those exclusive anguish moments. We could have never gotten past adolescence without each other's raging hormones; Sextalk, eyecandies, chemlab and not forgetting Shiqah's trusted camera that had faithfully snapped memorable events and captured the most unglamorous shots that should be sealed and kept away in the deep and dark.

To Zakiah, who helped me readjust when I returned back to school earlier this year, thank you and for having listened to my woes about the fear of facing my juniors, thank you.

Shiqah, nadiah and yana too for endlessly supporting this decision of mine, for all your notes, for all that warmth and the understanding nod; for being my listening ears, I couldn't have made it thus far and survived, without such heartfelt, precious love.

Shazni, I don't know if you ever come here, but I want you to know that despite everything, you'll continue to be my brother from a different mother. Even though you're away at Mandai camp, I know you constantly text to make sure I'm doing alright, and I am. Such heartfelt thoughts, I'll cherish deep down :) I know life has been one hell of a roller coaster ride and I know how confused you can get if things go too fast or if they don't go your way.

Through whatever, remember to stay strong and you'll eventually figure things out because sometimes to slow things down is the way to go. Slow it down and do pauses okay, remember to take baby steps.

I'm sorry if I've not been there to witness your happy moments, share your sadness&woes and hear you strum blondie like I'd usually do. But whatever happens, you know I'll be here hibernating in my cave. Lure me with fish if you need a bear.

Thank you for constantly reassuring me that you'll be there supporting my every move.

I'm glad I got to know you, thank you for giving me that opportunity. Take care, bro (:

and ultimately,

Gadis you brighten up my life like there's no tomorrow, like a honey you are to a Bear, like a candy you are to the eye and so on and so forth. I'm terribly missing you right now because ): yeah. I miss your crazy response towards everything, your laughter itself is madness and your "live for the moment" attitude is really contagious. You're my sister, my punching bag, my bra(supportive&soft&warm&comfortable) and right now, one of the things that completes my life. You're like the stars that I can gaze at for as long as the night lasts and never get sick of, except when I have to take toilet breaks and stuff. I can hug you forever and fall asleep inside the human cocoon those arms of yours provide. Among a lot of things, you're Gadis Mutiara Ashari and the name brings a smile to my face. For all those kolong blok sessions during which I've bawled my eyes out, laughed my ass off, and avenged hatred for a lot of things, I'm truly blessed to have you there with me.

Not forgetting these people, Amirah and Syira, who keeps me motivated to go to school, keeps me motivated to strive for the best and eventually achieve my best. They would constantly tell me that things are going to be okay, assure and reassure me that we'll one day graduate with flying colors and birds and bees and that this extra year is worth the wait, worth the sweat, worth the tears and worth the time. Thank you Amirah, for humoring me with your selengeness and I'm sorry if I've gone too far in bullying you! I know you're used to it, but I don't want you to get physically and emotionally hurt in the process okay. You must tell me if I've gone too far.

But whatever happens Amirah, click on this link: 사랑해

Betcha didn't know my voice was THAT sexy, did you? HellYeahhh!

Syiraaaaaaaa, you're my pillar of salt because you somehow relish in the fact that I am vulnerable to all your taunting, words of sarcasm and evil tricks. I am severely victimized fyi, and tsk, hurt you knowww. But underneath it all, I know you care and love (you better!), and sadistically I enjoyed getting hurt, because it's always the joy and laughter after every "session" that I look forward too. Btw, have I ever told you that I really love the sound of your laughter? It's how to say ah, pleasant to the ears, okay maybe mine. Whatever it is, I'm glad that like Gadis, you're one of the few Crescentians whom I've grown muchmuchmuch closer to as compared to when I was still decked in the holy yellow and turquoise. You provide warmth only someone who craves for it would understand, and I'll remember your laughter as that comforting sound which would constantly reverberate along the corridors. So laugh as often as you can Syira!

There are the few in school who have over this period of 5 months, left an impression on me. I've yet to get to know them, hence I'm truly glad for this extra year because I got to know my juniors like I never did before.

There! About erm, 48% of my thoughts uncompressed, all laid out, and typed out in words.

This long? God knows what goes on inside that messed up head of mine.

Well, at least I've said my peace in this post. Till the next one.

By the way, was browsing youtube for covers to my fav songs, as usual and guess what I came across:

Died I tell you, dieddddddd. But before that, melted. *swoons*

Scream, Singapore.

2010-08-22T02:47:00.006+08:00

So what's currently playing on zee playlist?

I'm going into the heartlands. Going local, going, going, going nowhere actually. Staying put.

It's been some time since I've listened to Corrine May(gotta love her) and Electrico as well.

I was never really into the local indie scene, a bit sad to notice how underground they are. Even if they aren't, there's very little publicity, it's like you either have to be a part of these local-indie-loving-crowd or get info through word of mouth.

OR maybe, it's just me being clueless (as usual) Can't blame my very limited, unexposed knowledge about the existence of our few, good local bands whatsoever.

So as soon as they became well talked about, I got listening.

The Great Spy Experiment is one of the better ones as well and I've decided to add in a few new sounds into the collection.

Hell, ever since I started school, I totally lost touch with music.

Been streaming mainstream just because I had no time to access birp. ): okay stupid excuse.

Just you wait, post-A's. Real music. I need to get drugged high again, asap.

So if you know any, tell me. Please.

For the time being, I'll leave you with these few videos.

All the best to my friends who are sitting for the prelims and the same goes for those of you out there who'll be/have started university.

All the best, yo :)

Last but not least;

gotta love these guys, GO, LOCAAAAL !

While exploring, I had a revelation.

It made me vividly recalled what amir once said and I finally understood.

(Took me almost a year, but what's new, iezah. What's new?)

Enjoyed this a lot, brought to you by I AM DAVID SPARKLE (M. Daud Kilau). Thanks ah.

There's somethin' bout love.

2010-08-15T20:21:00.003+08:00

Haha. Sometimes I think I'm better off without a blog. (Stares at updates)

Hey, I miss blogging a lot like extremely.

Anyway, updates updates!

These things make me happy, extremely blessed and yes, grateful that I am where I am right now, and I'm lovin' life :) (maybe I'll love it more without the A's part) but anywayss;

Recent class outing with my 08S32

That's not exactly a class, because the rest couldn't make it, but I'm honestly very glad the few of us got to meet up that day.

Dejun's still as adorable as ever (as usual), I love how he's able to make Shiqah speechless 99.9% of the time (yeah okay fine, I'm THAT desperate to have to resort to him to obtain revenge- I feel pathetic, but who cares.)

Then there's our supposingly-pastor-to-be-Feiyu, who has doubts about becoming a pastor now (I have a strong feeling he fell in love sometime, somewhere recently. Maybe?)

Then there's Jerome (my paininthearse-chem partner who has BULLY written everywhere on his face) but he's a familiar face that i can truly depend on, so I've decided not to resent his existence after all, tskk.

Shiqah = Jerome's partner in crime = Jerks. Both ordered Jerks for lunch anyway. She's like the wicked witch of the waste, works well with Jerome to make my already miserable life, more miserable. Thank you.

Yana! She's crazy I tell you. Even her braces intensify her mental state. I desperately need her for backup sometimes but she says she's neutral. What rubbish. (I still like to think that she stands up for me sometimes, hee.)

Nadiah is nadiah, everything about her is so nadiah, I can't paint it in words, but just flash a camera in her direction and you get instantaneous nadiah-pose.

I hope everyone will turn up for the next outing, then maybe I'll have more to blog about, hoho :D

Then someone had her birthday on 7th August 2010!

Jang-jang!

Happy belated Birthday, Gadis Mutiara Ashari !

Alaahaii, so chantekk! Heeeee (I can already imagine her giggling)

So this special lady turned 19 recently, Happy Birthday babyy.

She means a lot to me and I can't describe our relationship in words but here you go nah, pictures instead :D

"No regrets, just love."

Covers that made my day

2010-08-04T00:03:00.004+08:00

School's missing something, sometimes.

Loving Matt Beilis's covers on youtube.

Absolutely smitten by his rendition of Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts.

He has such beautiful raspy vocals.

and his version of Bruno Mar's Just the way you are cause I'm currently in love with the song, hehh.

G'nights.

2010-08-01T22:40:00.005+08:00

Because there's only 2 weeks left.

Because there's only 2 weeks left to make that jump.

Because there's only that much time left for me to know that this step's worth taking.

I know, because I believe that it's possible.

The one quote "You have to fail in order to taste the sweetness of success".

Before the night ends, to that special someone:

To a Nur Marliyana Md Latif;

Happy Nineteenth Birthday, baby.

I love you.

'Cause you're amazing just the way you are.

Lovin' it

2010-07-31T14:16:00.008+08:00

Sara Bareilles' - King of Anything found on Pop

Keep drinkin' coffee, stare me down across the table

While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able

But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man

We're all entitled to 'em

But I never asked

So let me thank you for your time

And try not to waste any more of mine

Get out of here fast

I hate to break it you babe

But I'm not drowning

There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So, you dare tell me who to be

Who died, and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent

All full of good intent

You swear you know best

But you expect me to

Jump up on board with you

Right off into your dellusional sunset

I'm not the one who's lost

With no direction, oh

But you'll never see

You're so busy making masks

With my name on it in all caps

You've got the talking down

Just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree? You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be

Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I've tried

To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide

Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn

To decide

Who cares if you disagree? You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be

Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

In summary.

2010-07-17T20:07:00.004+08:00

Chalet with the girls was awesome ttmness.

I'm glad we had it.

School's fine, feels kinda nice going to school sometimes, weirdd.

But yeah, I do enjoy the company a whole lot.

I think I'm starting to love Chemistry O.O

Running 6km every day's an achievement, and it wouldn't be possible without amirah.

We shall continue to run and stay fit.

Last but not least,

I want to do things right this time round.

2010-07-10T11:14:00.008+08:00

Thank you.

FRIDAY, FTW !

2010-07-08T23:53:00.010+08:00

Boogeebwaajjyeaaahhh.

Looking forward to tomorrow-o-oh-ohh.

Besides the fact that I'll be going to school for 1.5hrs of chem(only), there's mll chalet after school.

What's with having chalet right smack in the middle of, well more of like in the beginning of a new term? Weird, right. I think so too.

But;

tomorrow's the lastextremefinal chance I'll get at going crazy and wild and letting my hair down before the A's.

After tomorrow, I promise I'll tie my hair up into a tight beartail and revert back to mugger mode.

I'll sit on my favorite bench every single day without fail and do my work diligently :D

So, tomorrowww, with the girls, I predict that it'll be a blast.

The fact that I'll be seeing the girls in about 15 hrs time is already making me jump in my seat.

But for now, imma jump right off to bed. Nights :)

Life (should be) in Technicolor & Strings.

2010-07-07T00:26:00.011+08:00

What I need right now is that splash of color in my life.

Dull timetable. Dull mundane routines. Dullness, ftw.

Currently listening to acoustics and covers on youtube. At the rate I'm going, I should be able to convert it into a hobby- or even an obsession or something

Well, at least it's healthy and it brings my heart&soul pure joy, filling it to the brim before I burst into an ecstatic fit right in front of the screen.

People can strum those strings effortlessly and the sounds coming out of it are flawlessly, music.

It gets to me sometimes cause I simply love these sounds and I wanna strum 'em strings. Badly.

Sigh.

Obviously, the strumming don't just come "effortlessly". It takes numerous practices, undying and unrelenting patience. After all, they are a dedicated bunch with that burning passion in them awaiting to explode.

Hence they'll perfect their skills every single chance they get.

As for me, I have zero passion, oh don't talk about skills, my fingers can barely reach out for those strings. Time is non-existent (currently) in my case.

I want to do it, though.

Really, like one day.

People I know strum, like shaz, syira, mud, even gadis plays the ukulele !

I hope my hands grow. No, it's not an excuse, but well yes, partly.

If not, then well, I'm contented with just playing the ukulele with gadis :)

I love the guitars here.

When I heard this for the first time, I found love at 0:20 and subsequently, eventually, ULTIMATELY nearly crapped in my pants towards the ending. That awesome.

'Cause if this is the life

This is the life, this is the life

Then who'd argue?

Oooo ooooh oooohhh

2010-07-05T16:52:00.006+08:00

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGOGMG !

I finally found the perfect cover of my all-time favorite feeeeeeel good song!

Hell yeah, i'm fee-eee-leeng good today cause of this.

JUST OMG at the guitars and his voice is so oooo-oooohh-oooo-ooohhhhh.

For you-ooo-oooooh-ooooooooh

So black and blue-ooo-oooooh-ooooooh

For you-ooo-oooooh-ooooooooh~

Indie Film Art

2010-06-28T23:39:00.001+08:00

As much as I enjoy listening to indie/altern rock, I also harbor very similar affections for indie film art. Basically, the answer to what these array of moving pictures can offer lies in the very heart of directing and producing such films. It traces back to the initial purpose and visions of the film maker for producing and editing every scene, re-enacting lines and actions, speeches and expressions.

Indie film art represents the unique combination of theater art and cinematic films in which a clear story plot is made non visible throughout the course of the show. In fact, what indie films have to offer are the portrayal and immersion into one's thoughts and how the director wishes to fashion his perspectives and ideas into an original production well accepted by many. The actors who are sought after for such films are professionals at being emotionally provoking in their acting. It is not a surprise that some of these actors have even managed to successfully garner critical acclaims regarding the roles that they play in such films. What it takes basically, is the ability to capture the audience's attention and emotions in a subtle manner, yet artistically, creating an impact which could blow one's mind off completely without the use of expensive props and effects.

Intelligent and careful use of props and the extensive usage of camera angles further redefine art films into a form of channel through which development of ideas can take place. Not only does it enhance the creativity of one's mind but it appears as spurs of inspirations for young, budding film makers who are keen on breaking new grounds in the indie film industry. Technically, such films are well appreciated by those who possess a certain degree of intellect so as to be able to access the purpose behind the existence of such a creation.

All of this portrays the raw beauty of film making, and I would like to be a part of it all someday.

Misses.

2010-06-22T01:11:00.000+08:00

I just want to say that I miss you and I hope that you are doing very well.

I miss your laughter. I miss your smile. I miss that whole load of crapp. I miss your curls. I miss your drawings. I miss your camera. I miss your playful poses. I miss your hugs. I miss your crazy antics. I miss the way you wriggle that eyebrows especially for me and no one else. I miss your cheeky grins. I miss the way you'd snuggle me against your big boobs. I miss the way you're oh-so-tall and I'm short. I miss the conversations. I miss your Korean bull. I miss your sarcasms. I miss your pinching. I miss our heart-to-heart. I miss our late night joint conversations.

I miss us.

Humans.

2010-06-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

Human beings are interesting creatures. No matter how complicated they think they are, they are in actual fact, very transparent. That is, if they come complete with a manual which fully explains their behavioral functions. Then again, patience is all it takes to handle their inconsistency. Or indecisiveness. Or moodswings. Or tantrums. And etc.

Honestly, the phrase "you had me at hello" cease to exist in my case. There is no such thing as attraction at first sight. Unless maybe you're physically appealing and whatnot. That aside, I think for a person to be incredibly, wholeheartedly smitten with someone, it has got to move way beyond just mere hellos. Beyond that, is a whole new thing altogether. The real fun begins only when you go beyond introductions.

It’s very different when you delve in deeper, to get to know the person for who he/she really is. To sum up the whole experience, it's like one hell of a roller-coaster ride. Trust me, the sensation’s pretty much unbearable and overwhelming at the same time. As the saying goes,"Nobody's perfect". And maybe then it'll dawn upon you that at Hello, first impressions are taken into account. And half the time, these first impressions are mere facades etched across one's superiority complex. It's not them.

You know how something can be so attractive at first glance, but their value deteriorates with time. You play with it, get sick of it, tired even. Maybe because you know how the thing functions inside out? It’s not the same with people because truth is, regardless of the amount of time you've wasted being with them, and they tire you out shitless, you can never fully understand them inside out. They are that interesting, mind you.

I wish I could change people. To think that I am that ambitious? Yes. Sometimes, I wish that I could have the power to read people’s mind, rack their brains inside out, upside down to get to know what they really want. So maybe, just maybe if I could dive in and sort things out, I could understand them a whole lot better.

But deep down, I know it’s very much impossible.

Because I haven’t even fully gotten around to figuring myself out.

2010-05-22T00:48:00.005+08:00

Life as we all know, is very fast-paced.

Life as we all know, is forever changing.

It's this very life, in which we're living

& we'll continue to live life to it's fullest.

Hello blog, I hope you're doing fine, I'm sorry I abandoned you.

My life for the record, is proceeding really well.

There are times when I'll break down, there are times when I'd stare into blank spaces.

There are times when I can't hold back tears

and there are times when laughter would ring in my ears.

It's the same here where I am, life,

but it's different as well.

I love where I am now, I loved then, I am loving now.

At this time of the night, I can't help but recall about you, life.

You brought me up, you pull me down.

You have your ways, you taught me so many things.

I matured from it all.

I am a much better person now because of you.

Thank you.

Au revoir

2010-03-06T00:16:00.006+08:00

You loved it when my heart dropped, you paused, stopped, and walked away

Full of content that it went your way

These cuts that I've caused are never too deep to heal

Peel back the bandage, see a scar from countless careless things

And feel yourself drifting, pulled away

Well nothing feels real anymore

I'm not taking my time anymore

To show you how I feel

To show you who I am

Cause it's locked away

We all need to find our way

Cut the loss, just walk away

Now head towards the light, the dark has no place here

I don't feel real, I don't feel real

This pain is beating.

I don't feel real, I don't feel real

Well nothing feels real anymore

I'm not taking my time anymore

To show you how I feel

To show you who I am

Cause it's locked away

The things we think about at night never lose taste

Now, take the close to find something greater

This wall has finally reached it's end

It's higher ground, lets make a stand

Did you ever think we would get this high?

Pull back the sheets to find the ending that you prayed for.

Now head towards the light, the dark has no place here

Now head towards the light

So, I'll end things off here,

with this song that surprisingly captured my exact feelings

at this very moment.

I'm exhausted.

And to the very place, here,

in which I've poured such well-kept thoughts and feelings of mine.

Imma bid Goodbye.

I'm closing this chapter of my life.

Memories in here will remain;

of course.

Thank you, for giving me a reason to blog.

Maybe in time to come, be that reason again.

So, goodbye blog.

Till, one day.

Sometimes, I seriously need saving.

2010-03-03T01:16:00.006+08:00

Only God knows how much of an embarrassment I've made of myself today.

No doubt such incidents are in my case, frequent.

But I could swear for once, today, I turned away and blushed red scarlet after it all.

"Where's the keys?"

"Eh, where? You mean you want one here?" (points to the person's cheek.)

At that point in time, if I could fly away, I would have flown very very very very far away indeed.

Comrades-In-Arms

2010-03-01T12:27:00.012+08:00

Can't get enough of sleeping at 2am and waking up at 10 plus. Everything in life right now is smooth sailing. I'm not experiencing that much of a difference in personal schedule/routine. Set aside the ever-changing tuition schedule and extra lessons since the kids are having their CAs this week and the next, everything's like how everything should be.

Then there are friends.

Friends are like a cherished gift; full of surprises.

Being with them makes life worth living by a whole lot more.

Yeah, every milli-nano-second of it.

Like the meet ups till late at night just to have a heart to heart. (I personally enjoy doing this with someone.)

Then there is the warmth that every hug brings.

And somehow, those consoling words are always there when you needed them the most.

The laughter shared over practically everything, the sarcastic remarks and endless teasing that mark our close bondage.

Those heartwarming things we do that comes straight from the heart, things we do to replace verbal words of affection.

Not being there with them, but knowing that they are there when you text, when you're online to chat, makes your most imperfect day, perfect.

I wish that I could keep all of the above for a longer period of time.

Change is inevitable, and it's coming sooner than expected.

Doing a thing like this, hurts.

2010-02-27T16:05:00.002+08:00

You cry and laugh at the same time. You feel retarded, but you don't care.

As the tears flow faster, the laughter comes harder.

And then it hits you hard.

How much you miss it all.

2010-02-26T01:53:00.002+08:00

Ah, it sucks having to break down slowly day by day.

Leopard takes care of a baby baboon

2010-02-23T14:45:00.001+08:00

2010-02-23T11:35:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO GO OUT AND WATCH VALENTINE'S DAY THE MOVIE TODAY.

I DON'T WANT TO LOOK PATHETIC GOING TO THE CINEMA ALONE.

ANYBODY WANNA COME?

no?

Hysterical

2010-02-23T02:08:00.001+08:00

Issues

2010-02-22T19:34:00.008+08:00

Sis: Kak, mum haven't given me allowance for this week

Iezah: Cannot be what, she won't forget things like that. Go ask her ah

Sis: Don't want la! I don't feel comfortable. What if she needs the money to pay this and that. You know how tight it gets, right. What if she doesn't have any more money left? Plus, I don't like it la, I think she knows that I've still got my 50 bucks that I've saved. But I need to use the money for something else.

Iezah: But it's your allowance what

Sis: I don't know la. I don't wanna burden her

Iezah: Go ask dad la

Sis: Don't want lah!

Iezah: Why?

Sis: He loves his money

2010-02-21T21:10:00.003+08:00

Ramizah tempted me with her friend's sms regarding interested owners for 1 month old kittens.

I want ):

And they come in black, white and grey, if I'm not wrong.

Like eBay.

Madrasah today was highly disturbing because of ustaz's see-through shirt D:

Flipped through some random madrasah student's Reader's Digest during lesson and found this funny quote.

As quoted from Reader's Digest (not the exact words but it goes something like this) :

"Love is not reciprocated.

Men love women.

Women love children.

Children love hamsters."

Today's a Sunday, then Monday then Tuesday then all the wayyy to next Sunday and then...

March !

God knows what else awaits you : )

The Friday

2010-02-20T15:15:00.019+08:00

Yesterday was a long and tiring day for me. Honestly, I swear that if every day were to be like such a day ever, in my entire life, I wouldn't have survived. Either that, or I would have actually be able to achieve my dream weight.

The childcare centre called me up to help out yesterday. I was exhilarated of course, being able to see the children. That was before the exhaustion sets in. The first session kids were a nightmare, and it was really one of those nightmares in which you would find yourself having to handle about 10 kids with poop and pee and drool everywhere, screaming their heads off and wailing to their heart's content. My pants kena pee-ed on yesterday and my shirt was full of drool. I swear. There was this drool monster who actually leaves his trail of you-know-what everywhere, including on the toys. After handling the kid, my whole hand was full of them. The drool. If I could, I would have put in a cork to stop the flow. Then came the pee. By then I was almost like wtf, but they are kids, so who could have blamed them.

Then came the second session kids. Before that, there was a 15 mins break during which we would clean and sanitize the whole place up for the second group. I was honestly drained. I had to cling on to the tiny tables and drag my ass to the nearest chair in which I sat, with my arms and legs hanging limply and without any traces of energy/soul left in them. Okay, exaggerated la.

But still, it wasn't helping because all that I could think about at that point in time was sleep.

Then the second session kids started pouring in and it was chaos. I've got kids running around and banging their heads against my crotch in an attempt to hug. Obviously, seeing that they could only match up to half my body height, the first thing that their head contacted was the middle section of my lower body portion. I had bricks being thrown at me (again) and it went straight for my eyes this time. It was a chaotic scene, a very chaotic scene and I tried to do my best to keep up.

When all of it ended at about 2, I made my way to school for training. I boarded the bus, chose a suitable seat, plugged in my earpiece, rested my head against the window and fell into a deep slumber. Thankfully, I woke up just in time to get down at the destined stop.

Training kicked off at about 4 during which we did the usual drills and I was rusty. But I was happy I got to train.

And to my dear makciks, I'm so very sorry about dramafest. It's not that I don't want to go with you guys, I was left with no choice cause I chose training first. If I hadn't, I would have gone for it. Sorry if I was not in the mood to kecoh or whatever when I saw you guys yesterday. Truth be told, I was really happy when I heard you guys shouting my name and all (flattered, actually) sebab macam pop star gitu. Hahaa, and I was happy to see you guys (except shiqah, who because of some reason or other is ALWAYS not happy to see me. Her face shows la please.)

Kidding la.

Yeah, I was honestly, very drained because of whatever's been mentioned above, hence, excitement wasn't very suitable at that point in time. And I'm sorry sebab I bubble you guys for soccer. Really. I love you guys too much to not hang out with you guys over some stupid excuse right. But this is training, and I know you guys would somehow understand, so thank you (:

Then a roll of thunder was heard, and rain poured down heavily. That did not stop coach from stalling training, as usual. Unless there was a lightning warning.

I was soaked right down to my undergarments and it was really cold.

Left training with XW to meet the other girls for street soccer (supposingly) at the court near Rulang Pri. But there was rain, so street soccer was cancelled.

Sorry mud, you came all the way down in the hope of fulfilling that desire to kick a ball on the court but eventually couldn't. Lol. Seriously, I'm sorry. Plus I knew you wanted to play so bad, since you were kinda hoping that the rain would stop soon, so yeah. And sorry if things got messy yesterday because apparently I was TOO SHORT and you couldn't see me standing in the middle of the court in the pouring rain.

Moohahaha, I appreciate you coming down, yo. So, thanks (:

Maybe another time kay, if there is an another time.

There you go, the chain of events that happened on a Friday. I was so drained and wet and cold, I got home, washed up and headed straight for bed at 10.30.

I guess maybe sometimes, a little peace and quiet at home even with the boredom cuts it just fine.

2010-02-18T13:30:00.002+08:00

SGD 82

I MOURN.

Fun things to do at home when you are bored.

2010-02-18T13:23:00.001+08:00

1) Turn off all the lights for 10 minutes. Now, turn them on and shout ‘Surprise’.

2) Paint or draw a stupid, funny picture of someone you don’t like.

3) Blink your eyes rapidly and then, close them real tight. You will see an amusing light show.

4) Jump on the bed, while saying 'I'm the best'.

5) Repeat a single word over and over again.

6) Pretend to be a robot or a car. Remember to produce the requisite sounds.

7) Wear your underwear over your pants and act like ‘Superman’.

8) Try to move each of your hands in a different direction.

9) Read the articles in a newspaper, backwards.

10) Try to take a coin from one end of the table to other, by blowing on it.

11) Pretend to have a split personality and talk to yourself.

12) Try to bite your nose with your teeth.

13) Recite your kindergarten rhymes like a toddler and clap for yourself.

14) Get ice cream from the market, boil it and try to drink it, after it cools down a bit.

15) Jog around the local park, moving backwards, rather than forwards.

16) Purchase a bubble blower and fill your room with soap bubbles.

17) Try to catch a fly, mosquito or any insect that is buzzing around your home, and then put it in a jar.

Guns and Horses by Ellie Goulding

2010-02-17T12:02:00.001+08:00

I wanted to download this song so badly, but I realized it's not out yet.

So, here's for easy access.

2010-02-16T17:49:00.017+08:00

CNY holidays seemed long, very long.

It's funny how just about a year ago, one would anticipate the coming of such holidays, regardless of it's length. (The longer the better, I'd say.)

Nowadays, I'm at a loss of what to do when the holidays are here.

Cause regardless of which, holidays or no holidays, everything seemed unchanged.

Everything's the same. You stay at home and do nothing.

I'm getting my pay this week, at least that's something to look forward to.

And I got sputtering hot oil all over my neck and arms by accident when my mother flipped something she was frying.

I was floating around the kitchen like a ghost, half-conscious as I had just woken up from sleep.

That was when the deadly hot oil strikes. That definitely woke me up.

And I cried a little, with that blur expression on my face.

Kacau-ed my sister this morning, as usual. I think she must be regretting the fact that her kakak is suffering from post A's I-am-depressed-when-I'm-bored syndrome.

Iezah: Kakak sad sehh sebab takde orang sms kakak. My inbox empty. I don't have friends.

Sister: (Reading book) Padan muka. I bet all your friends hate you.

Iezah: I am going to force my friends to send me smses then. I know! I'll send them an sms! Then they will have no choice but to reply me! I don't care.

(typed something on phone and pressed sent)

Sister's phone vibrated.

Sister: HAH YAY! TU PUN KAWAN ZIELAH SMS. HA HA HA.

(throws me the see-i-have-friends-you-don't-have-any smirk)

(Sis opens the message received) Message reads:

From: Kakak

Hello talk to me !!!

(Epic reaction from both parties.)

2010-02-14T19:13:00.006+08:00

GOOD KITE FLYING DAY TODAY

2010-02-13T08:57:00.004+08:00

Met up with the clique at jp yesterday for lunch. Thank you for coming down people, it's been some time.

We had soccer training in the evening during which BARELY half turned up. It's always the usual few, and sometimes I feel like thanking the rest of the team for that 1 year and 4 months of precious memories. Thereafter, telling them to **** off because it seems that they are uninterested. Our batch always have issues. Always. And you guys have yourselves to thank for that.

I can't deny that I've been feeling sour these past few days. No, I'm not pmsing.

So don't get on my nerves if we are going out anytime this week, because you might actually be activating a ticking time bomb.

Whatever.

2010-02-11T00:52:00.008+08:00

Am I biting off more than I can chew?

Am I being too relenting, because it feels like it.

I don't think that I am doing things within my capabilities.

Btw, someone once told me that I'll try my best to please people even if I don't like them.

It makes me sound like a hypocrite.

It's true.

I feel dirty.

Kiddies.

2010-02-09T14:49:00.007+08:00

"Good morning good morning, it's nice to see your smiling face.. "

Sooo recently, with the help of Azureen's sister, Atika, I was granted the precious opportunity to work in a playgroup for kids aged 2-4 years old. Thank you (:

I started yesterday, with the second session kids. There are 2 sessions.

One at 9.30am, and another at 11.30am.

A bunch of adorable little devils.

I adore the second session kids since I was with them since Monday. I just got to know the first session kids today.

Thanks to the teachers, Kak Soffia, Kak Yana and an abang who is Kak Soffia's husband, I learnt a lot about handling the kids, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to work at the playgroup even if it's just for a short while (:

Kak Soffia will be absent tomorrow so I'll be helping Kak Yana with the kids. Hopefully nothing serious happens tomorrow because the kids can get really out of control.

It was my first time yesterday, so I came down to observe the kids. They would start off the session by playing with the toys provided. One of them is this box of bricks that are made out of sponge-like material.

There is this boy called Hamzah in the group who doesn't smile at all. I've never seen him smile, and he is very quiet.

I saw him playing with the bricks alone, so I came over and taught him how to throw and catch the bricks. He looked awed and enlightened, and I thought, Finally! I might actually be able to see him smile!

The next thing I knew, he took a brick and throw it at me.

He had on the widest grin ever.

The rest of the kids saw him do that and did the exact same thing.

...

Petra and Paris are babies, so they are about 2 years old and very tiny.

I think I could play with them forever. Not to mention how they'll let out this piercing scream before breaking into a non- stop giggling fit.

And they have the finest strands of hair I have ever seen. Not to mention the typical cheena bangs! Hoho!

"Yellow"

"Lelow"

"What color is this?"

"Lelow!!!"

Every session with them leaves me feeling so high and happy.

2010-02-06T02:51:00.001+08:00

2010-02-04T22:44:00.002+08:00

Today is like wtf ah, seriously.

Movie Indulgence

2010-02-04T12:36:00.000+08:00

So let's see how's the week been so far. Sigh.

Feb's here, and the much anticipated March will soon appear in the blink of an eye.

Today's a Thursday, which makes it payday for tuition (hopefully) yeap, getting exasperated over the long-due tuition fees.

I gave in and extended the date because she said that she hasn't gotten her pay.

Well, so long as I'm not on the losing end for being a sucker. I hope I'm not.

I've been watching movies during my off days. Well, not technically off days. But on mornings spent being alone at home. Thank god tuition lessons are always in the late noon.

So here's a list of movies that I've been dying to watch over the recent years, but actually never got the chance to. (which eventually, I did.)

The top on my list among these 8 would have to be Bedtime Stories and The Ugly Truth.

First off, the Bedtime Stories soundtrack composed by Rupert Gregson- Williams is a must listen to. They consist of just instrumentals, without any vocals.

But they do convey the emotions across. Here, have a go.

Just like how the song titles puts it.

What I adore most about the movie is the story line.

I kinda liked the fact that one can relate fairy tales to one's reality in this movie because fairy tales as we all know, are non- existent and they don't actually come true.

But in this movie, they do.

Not in an exaggerated manner of course, it comes modified because of real life's restrictions.

Plus, I learnt that there is a happy ending after all.

It's not happening in our stories because half the time, we killed the chance of having one by choosing not to believe in it.

The Ugly Truth is very entertaining, even though the ending's very cliche.

Loved the crude humor and truths about the two very contrasting genders.

Who knows? Your very person might be standing right there in front of you. You just don't look hard enough.

And here's a favorite soundtrack from one particular scene.

Hell yeah. Enjoyed my movie sessions while it lasted. (kinda.)

Had a farewell dinner yesterday for some of the guys who are departing for NS this week.

I truly enjoyed those last moments together, thank you.

Wishing you guys all the best on your journey towards becoming a MAN. This goes out to the rest of you NS-men-to-be out there too.

Grow some tough balls out there, and your hair soon afterwards! :D

Kay, time to peel my eyes off zee screen, off those movies and back to reality.

2010-02-02T15:56:00.005+08:00

Kudos to the late Yasmin Ahmad, may your soul rest in peace.

Amin.

Baby Cabbage

2010-01-30T21:24:00.005+08:00

I can't get enough of this photo, seriously.

It never fails to make me smile

Adorable to the max, please!

Azreen caught this in her camera ytd when we were dining at BK's.

Look at how the head pops up like a cabbage in the garden!

Baby Cabbage.

The mum didn't know we took this,

so aunty, if you happened to come across my blog,

I am so sorry for doing this without your permission but I just wanna say that your baby

ish shoo cuteeeee !

I want to have a baby just like that!

A cuter one, maybe.

TEEHEE.

PAEMLL'08

2010-01-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

Meeting with the pae mll people today was like seeing a rainbow after the rain. Plus, it was raining just now. (Kay, lame.)

But no kidding, it was highly anticipated and I enjoyed today you guys, thank you so very much.

Plus haikal who's forever cmi-ing during our past outings, finally emerged today.

Sorry no brownies haikal, I promised you, but due to my busy schedule, you can go off for your enlistment next week without my brownies. LOL, after that maybe. (:

Saw FtIsland at IMM! (Even though, I don't know who they are.)

Nevertheless, we were involved in the merepek party when shiqah got intoxicated over her BK's coke, or was it pepsi?

She got freaking high and unbearable. Hayati joined in sebab diorang haven't pekiked in months. Ni case release stress after exams ah.

Soo, lantak lah korang eh. And best, Sols pun layankan.

Azreen, haikal, zakiah and me chill chill apple. But Haikal can stoppit sak with his facial expressions.

I swore when he washed his hands with ice after dinner just now, everyone was like wtf?

Then we all step number 1 fans of FTIsland ah, we screamed "Shineeeeee!" when they appeared. (haikal's idea.)

Nadiah memang dah buried inside the crowd dah, that pompuan ditch kite org utk FTIsland. Ade ke patut !?

Ended the day with nadiah's bonus question, " KENAL ADI TAK?"

And (re-reads post.)

Now, would you just look at that? :B

This is not how I'd normally type out my posts. But, it doesn't hurt to do this once in a while.

Plus, I talk like that in real life.

I'm not a hypocrite, so what gives. (:

2010-01-29T01:53:00.009+08:00

Her navy blue hoodie wrapped it's warmth over her frozen body.

With chilly fingers, she tugged on it's sleeves, pulling it down, extending the length beyond the palm of her hands.

She sat cross-legged on the cold, plastic chair.

For having sat at the same spot, for having waited so long, her whole body felt numb.

The people breezed past her as she sat stationary, watching.

There wasn't anyone in sight. Anyone she knows, for that matter.

And it suddenly dawned upon her.

"What am I doing, sitting here alone?"

Sometimes, I wish I was the girl in that navy blue hoodie.

2010-01-28T01:04:00.007+08:00

So yay! I finally created a twitter account! But I don't see myself tweeting that much though.

Just so I could make my bitches happy.

http://twitter.com/IezahJ

Oh, and a quote that I found on Kak Rin's blog;

credits to DeviantART

What MEN

should know:

"A woman who

truly loves you will

be angry at you for

so many things

but will still stick

around."

And I thought my name was unique.

2010-01-27T11:51:00.007+08:00

I tried to create a twitter account this morning but every single username that I typed is already in use.

Hence, I have no mood to create a twitter account today.

I'll try my luck tomorrow.

Oh, and not forgetting the bitches that tried to goreng me into creating a twitter account yesterday.

CMI sungguh.

I am in dire need of an adventure that I would give anything to make a monster come out of my closet.

2010-01-26T10:51:00.005+08:00

Updating this blog isn't much of a chore anymore. Life can't be more boring than it already is.

I heart this song.

Finally meeting up with the makciks today. We'll wreck havoc at shiq's house.

Got my pay yesterday, this calls for a celebration. Ouuwheeeee! At least cash's flowing in.

What sleep can do to you.

2010-01-25T10:13:00.012+08:00

I woke up at 8am this morning after 15 hrs of sleep. I slept around 6pm yesterday.

I had a series of weird dreams.

Firstly, I dreamt that a cockroach scurried into my left ear and couldn't come out of my right ear, so it took a U turn and came out from where it came from, my left ear.

Honestly, it felt real, and at that point in time, all I could do was to shut my eyes damn tightly, and I thought hard "Please go out, please go out" because I figured that if the cockroach was somewhere inside my head, there is a possibility that it could hear my thoughts. And even though it eventually found it's way out, I was majorly freaked out.

Sadly, I didn't wake up right after that because I dreamt that someone hugged me while I was asleep.

That person was sleeping beside me and I was hugged like how a person would hug a teddy bear while sleeping. I couldn't see who that person was because I was facing the other way but I played with the person's hands, intertwining my fingers with the person's. It was some stranger with big hands in comparison to mine and it wasn't freaky or anything. In fact, it was surprisingly nice. And no, I wasn't horny because I was fully clothed and we weren't doing anything fishy. It was a warm hug, that's all.

The next thing that happened was I swear to God I don't know why, but you know those moves that people would execute before they bodyslam someone? They'll pull the hands or something and then that person will be catapulted above the head, and slammed onto the ground?

Yeah. That was exactly what I did. I played with the stranger's hands, and at that point in time, I guess reality must have hit me hard, that, NO IEZAH, PLAYING WITH A STRANGER'S HAND ISN'T NORMAL, so I did a bodyslam and the poor stranger fell out of bed. I didn't get a chance to see who it was though.

That was when I woke up this morning, and asked my dad, "Where's nenek?".

2010-01-25T09:42:00.006+08:00

Hahahaha! (points to tagboard)

I didn't know my yamapi could garner that awesome a feedback.

Thank you yana, nadiah and syahirah, yes yana, Yamapi is indeed dee hotstuff :p

And nadiah, thank you for the comments (:

It's true that the japanese are versatile but then again, I guess both countries have their own ways of catering to their dedicated fans out there.

Hahaha, really ira? I didn't know that! What competition was it? (Maklumlah, I lost touch 3 years ago, lol)

But that said, KESIANNYER! HAHAHA AND YA! Where did the fans go ah? xD

Yupps nad! I can definitely send you the song (:

When I am so bored that I have to blog twice in a day.

2010-01-22T11:26:00.022+08:00

Amidst the ongoing, raging KPop fever, there will always be dee one that triumphs over everything else.

Yamapi.

Lol, even though our love died 3 years ago, I truly believe in the power of resurrection. So I've decided to resurrect our dead romance 3 years later. Haha, kidding.

I just think that JPop deserves some recognition seeing that akin to KPop, it latches it's roots early and have since then, gained merited fame worldwide. Therefore, similar to KPop, JPop is undeniably, an established industry. So it's unfair for one to argue which one's better in terms of publicity/song/looks/vocals/dancemoves. Obviously, looking at the current situation now, KPop wins hands down. (Even though all their people are mere blow up dolls who had to undergo plastic surgery.)

No offence, but really.

I'm not judging and criticizing because seriously, this issue's not worth arguing over. Plus, I've friends who are die hard fangirls of some renowned KPop groups. (I don't want to die young.) All I'm saying is, cut these JPop people some slack. If you can go about squealing over pretty hot korean boys, I can do the same over pretty hot japanese guys too. Let's just, don't overreact.

Nevertheless, speaking for yours truly, I am not going to be some KPop addict, because I'm a die hard JPop fan. Nor am I going to relive the love I had for JPop which I've officially terminated 3 years ago. It's heartbreaking okay. But I've decided to wake up and not dream anymore, so yes, I had to face the harsh truth that my beloved Yamapi and I were not meant to be. Dealed with that 2 years ago already la. Sheesh.

Yes, and here I stand in favor of JPop, with their glory almost non-existent alongside the crazy KPop frenzy. Actually, that's not true because they are still dancing and singing out there for the few remaining, loyal fangirls. Okay, maybe not a few, but it's sad that I won't be there.

Still, whatever happens, I will always love Yamapi.

And hurrah to our KPop stars who are living their glory days.

2010-01-22T10:16:00.006+08:00

Pardon me for the crude language that was extensively used in my previous post.

I realized that I shouldn't have blurted out these series of colorful words without thinking of the consequences.

I'm still a Muslimah. Therefore, I have to dutifully present the proper etiquette and grace that an ideal Muslim woman would show in her attributes to adhere to the laws and teachings of Islam.

Hence, I must be careful to fulfill these obligations.

Even though I laughed a little after typing all this down, I know it's serious and it's of no laughing matter.

So really, pardon me for the crude language.

2010-01-21T17:19:00.011+08:00

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with those parents out there who want cheap tuition but they can't fucking be bothered to show any signs of commitment?

I've bloody had it with this woman who keeps bargaining for her son's tuition fee.

ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY is one hell of a good bargain for a SEC 2 NORMAL ACAD STUDENT.

Not to mention how I have to bloody waste money for my train fare every week to TIONG BAHRU.

Fucking shit. Today was DEE day.

At around this time TODAY, I'll be at her house, teaching her son Mathematics. But she had to call me at 4pm, when I am already OUT of my house, ON the bus, to tell me to POSTPONE tuition. WHY? "Oh, because my son isn't back home from school". WTF, woman? SO? YOU'VE AGREED TO THIS DATE THAT I'VE SET. And I see no problem in waiting for YOUR SON. Why the hell are you so adamant on postponing tuition? I AM ALREADY ON A BUS. Care to pay for that WASTED bus trip? And you can still plead your ass off for me to decrease the fee? MAYBE I WOULDN'T BE THIS FUCKING MAD IF TODAY WASN'T MY PAYDAY. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO PAY ME TODAY. IS THAT WHY YOU'RE POSTPONING THE TUITION?! Knnccb. And this, wasn't a first.

I am not such a money-face okay. But judging from how you've been treating me all this while, postponing tuition at your own free will, and BARGAINING MY FEES.

YOUR SON SO TOTALLY DON'T DESERVE ME TEACHING HIM.

Like I said, I wouldn't be so sore if today wasn't payday. Fucktards.

2010-01-20T10:53:00.005+08:00

It's bad enough that I sounded nasal when I talk due to a blocked nose.

But seriously?!

Incredulously mute now because of cough and sore throat?

What's the issue with this dry phlegm plugging up my chest,

blocking off my bronchial tubes,

irritating and tickling

the hell out of my breathing systems.

QWRYGHGJVJFGFML.

For Nadiah and Yana

2010-01-17T15:03:00.003+08:00

I went to watch Yishun Super Reds vs Gombak United at Jurong West Stadium on Friday.

4 korean players, and all 4 are gorgeous. I was lucky.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2010-01-16T17:05:00.003+08:00

I smiled a lot this week. A lot.

It feels really good that I am happy, that I am wholeheartedly happy.

And when I catch myself staring into space with burdened thoughts, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

And that somehow I am able to keep my chin up, my frown upside down, and my heart light.

Things are changing, for the better.

So for the record, I forgive you. And of course, thank you.

Those precious moments spent with them are irreplaceable and I hope that we'll continue to be together, continue to forge this friendship and I hope that we'll continue to strengthen it.

I love yesterday and I will definitely love all the days with them.

Thank you, you guys.

"I can't help it.

I smile back and once I start I notice that I feel happy.

Happiness makes my body warm, my stomach and all the way down."

Carry Me Down by M.J. Hyland

2010-01-15T00:22:00.002+08:00

Okay, changed.

2010-01-14T23:58:00.001+08:00

I want to change my blogskin.

2010-01-12T15:22:00.004+08:00

Yes, finally. A post.

All thanks to my was-screwed-but-now-fixed internet connection, I'm back. So let's see what I have accomplished over the past six days. Nothing actually. When I'm bored, I either cook or bake. Oh speaking of which, I guess I feel a little glad that mum forced me into learning how to cook over the holidays, because I shan't say that I'm an expert at cooking right now, but I do know how to carry out the basic stuff and all. So I feel accomplished in a way. Deep down, it gives me a sense of satisfaction and even though I regretted working my ass off in the kitchen then, I don't regret it now. At least I know how to cook sambal without burning it. So it feels good.

That aside, all thanks to Shiqah, I've been catching up on movies and Grey's. I'm not into chic-flick nor am I an emotional dramaqueen to begin with, but I do enjoy a taste of soapiness now and then. So I recently watched p.s I Love You, The Lake House and shed a few tears here and there. I don't get why I wasn't into these things then. Now, I'm craving for all these. Which bothers me a lot, like is it hormonal? Because if it is, does that mean I'm maturing and getting all woman-like and old?!

"The one man I can never meet

...him, I would like to give my whole heart to."

The Lake House

Now would you look at that. Seriously. It's so sweet and deep and full of true, heartfelt emotions all pent up inside one woman. That quote is a tear-jerker.

Yes okay, I'm sorry, ew. It's that time of the month. I swear I'll be myself again in about a week's time.

2010-01-03T14:15:00.011+08:00

I want the Umbrellas albums. I can't find it anywhere ):
I am currently in love with their songs. So I want to listen to all 3 albums! Rar.

Thanks to Zakiah, I've finally figured out what I should do at home as of 4th Jan 2010 when I wake up every morning to an empty house. Anticipating the peace, tyvm.
I am going to watch Ghost Season 2, manz. Yeaaa. This Malaysian Drama.
Seriously, it's nothing like those typical soapy drama series with a sickly-doodey love plot.

I can't describe it, but it's hell good.

Something like the malay version of Ghost Whisperer and CSI all awesomely mixed together, only better.
And it's not like Malay-malay. It's created in this modern urban-like setting with audible, comprehensive conversational English conquering almost every scene. Not your typical cheesy, corny, failed attempt at making a horror story either.

A controversial, open-minded, critical story plot too good to boot.

Hell yeah.

Speaking of which, go check out 2009's remix. Okay, for those of you who can't stand mainstream, do stay clear of this post.
I'm not into mainstream either, but I don't entirely despise it. I just think that this is a great mashup of the Top 25 Billboard Hits.
The mixing and editing are really complimentary.
A great masterpiece to officially end 2009 and to roughly sum it all up as well.

Watching the video painstakingly reminded me of those songs that were aired last year, and how some if not most, killed my ears.
Then again, no matter how irritatingly shitty some of them were, I continued to listen to all of them and I guess they kinda grow on me because they provided companionship while I was mugging for A's.
Yeah, I actually ditched my iPod and got glued to 987fm at one point of time.

Somehow sickeningly, I enjoyed sitting through that shitty ordeal, ears plugged in to "rubbish", in front of a scattered mess of books and papers, at Macs.

I actually caught myself head banging and grooving to some of these songs. Especially to BEP's I've Got A Feeling. Nothing can top that la, seriously.

I still think it's one of the best songs to sing to in the shower.

Muaahahahaa. Hurrah to this bunch of significant shingz. Hit it!

01012010

2010-01-01T15:28:00.009+08:00

So much laughter.

Thank you, 2009.

And to you;

thank you for this past one year of friendship and fun.

I hope that you'll not forget

in 2010.

Being happy.

2009-12-30T13:08:00.001+08:00

"I laugh with them because it is one of the worst things to be in a room full of people and not laughing when everybody else is."

2009-12-29T23:20:00.004+08:00

I was thrown off guard by Secondary 1 Mathematics today.

I stared at his book for 5 minutes.

Flipped through it again for a few more minutes.

Stared long and hard at a question.

And got the answer wrong.

Shame on you, Iezah. Shame on you.

2009-12-28T00:44:00.006+08:00

credits to DeviantART

Be flattered by that.

When people see you can stand on your own two feet,

then they'll not let you lean on them.

If you can stand straight and tall, then that's what people will expect of you.

The tougher and stronger you are,

the less they'll look after you.

Carry Me Down

M.J. Hyland

You've no reason not to hold your head up high.

Omg, at Haji Lane!

2009-12-24T23:06:00.020+08:00

For the first time ever, I actually stepped into the array of wonderful shops present at that little place tucked away in Arab Street. I haven't really noticed the number of chic shops available there, and what a shopping haven it was. Good bargains and you can literally bathe in the vintage-like ambiance in every shop. Somehow, being there triggered off my childhood dream of becoming a fashion designer. I've always wanted to own my own label, and maybe even open a cosy shop cum pad alongside one of these places. One day, maybe.

Chilled and camwhored because Haji Lane is picturesquely scenic. Thereafter, ate at Victory after ditching Zam Zam since Amir couldn't get his prata at Zam Zam's. Thanks to the wonderful service, we had to wait for more than 15 mins for the food to be served.

The highlight of the day would have to be that small visit to the Children Little Museum Singapore. We didn't go for the exhibition because admission fee was 2 bucks (haha) and Dheeraj was afraid that we'll get ripped, but we did manage to take a good look at what was present inside the store.

They had these tiny trinkets and wooden toys dated way back into the 50s and 70s. Indeed, a wave of nostalgia washed over me when I saw toys like card games, paper balls, planes, sticks, wooden tops and etc. There was even a vintage scooter complete with a matching helmet and fridges that can only be seen in movies like Grease. It was really cool. Plus someone was all smiles when he purchased his ball. This ball-shaped toy that will let out an exploding sound when thrown against a hard surface. Purchasing the toy, was a big mistake. Amir and his ball irritated the shit out of me thereafter.

Raj had to leave, so we roamed around Far East because there was a flea market thing going on. Shazni and Amir introduced me to the interesting Bidet (pronounced as Bee-day.) Go check them out. You can find these things in the toilets at Far East.

While roaming, I met Fatin! It's been some time. She's still as chubby as ever with those goldfish cheeks, and I miss her. We wandered aimlessly afterwards since we were destination-less to begin with and it wasn't helping that Orchard Road is a disaster zone on Christmas Eve. The crowd is sungguh terrible.

Someone enlightened me with a whale/dolphin fin-flap on the way home. Hilarious shit.

Another fun day spent outside with a bunch of retards. Thank you.

As of tomorrow onwards, I will be away spending quality time with family.

See you people when I return home on Monday (:

Do take care, and to my friends out there,

Have A Merry Christmas!

Budak- budak MLL, seh.

2009-12-24T00:30:00.005+08:00

It was about time we had a decent MLL outing, and yes we had one today, finally.

We had a small "hiking" trip down at Hotpark's and we were at Henderson Waves watching the absolutely awesome scenic view from I don't know how many metres above groud level. Not to mention how we actually embarrassed ourselves with a dance move from the Korean song "Abracadabra"- the butt swing move! Some pakcik caught us dancing and I swore he must have been hiding in a corner watching, before slowly walking towards us. Haha, how sneaky! He had this grin plastered across his face as well.

I was initially from school that morning guiding the year 1s with their PBB for MCS. Hence, I had to join them much later. Thanks for waiting, guys. And yes, sorry Jannah because I actually alighted at the wrong stop and you had to wait and all. Had yummy sandwiches along the way, and you should have seen how I attacked them since I haven't had any breakfast that morning. Sang Dayung Sampan and Bengawan Solo throughout the hiking journey with Jannah. The rest were just oh too shy to join in. Camwhored too much as well. Will upload some of the pictures here, aiites (:

I have to say a big thank you to Jannah and Nadiah for having planned the whole outing. I have no idea who else was involved, but thank you everyone, for making it a success. Especially to Jannah, for volunteering her house at the end of the whole thing. Her mum too, for having taken the time and effort to cook Nasi Ayam for us! Omg, the ayam and nasi and soup were so tasty. Especially the ayam! (Okay, I know I sound like a hungry ghost or something, but really the ayam was hell good.) Hee. We had a Korean drama marathon yang-tak-menjadi because by about 5 plus, almost half of us had to leave. But I think the best fun we had was the hiking trip. Merepekgilerkecohnak-mampos. (Shows how potential makciks can stall a whole pack of hikers during a hiking trip- naik tangga pun complain. Siape complain? Shiqah.)

LOL, I had so much fun la you guys. It's been some time. Thank you.

2009-12-22T20:58:00.003+08:00

I've been suffering from neck cramps and hip cramps and leg cramps and yes, I need to complain like an old aunty because I don't feel too good. I can barely get up this morning and I had to literally roll out of bed. I think I shouldn't have dived too much, since I haven't dived for a very long time, on synthetic ground. Match was okay, but tiring, and we lost. I don't want to talk about soccer, somehow it frustrates the hell out of me. Ever since Saturday when we had street soccer. Match was regarding the same thing. I don't know. I'm just feeling out of sorts recent of late. What a way to start the week.

Met the 9 Jammers today with Anwar. Barely half turned up, but it was okay. Ate Ayam Penyet at Newton Food Centre and then off to Island Creamery for some cold, sweet desserts. We got high, and it was all very fun. Apparently, I am not in the mood for blogging, so I can't seem to make this post any more interesting that it already isn't. Why the hell did I blog, then? I have no idea either. I guess an update would be a nice indication that I am still alive and breathing. Ha ha. Okay.

2009-12-20T01:43:00.014+08:00

credits to deviantART

I guess when it comes to patience, you can say that I am able to bear with things.

For a long period of time.

The reason why I don't snap very easily, the reason why I don't sulk, or mop around unless there is a valid reason to.

The reason why I'd force that smile widely across my cheeks in an attempt to feel a tinge of euphoric joy.

Every single time.

Every single time.

And every single time, it works.

Maybe one day, I should just tear away this thick piece of foundation covering my surface.

And show off my insides.

Or better still, boil away in rage.

I might "instantaneously combust".

And burn away right there and then;

disintegrating into thin air.

Will you then be able to finally redeem peace, at the thought of me disappearing from the surface of this earth?

I am emotionally unstable this week.

Please just let it end fast. I'll move on.

2009-12-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

Getting all cooped up at home is so sad. I wish that I have loads of money so that I can go out and spend, spend, spend. Oh, how I wished.

I gave bro a nice solid kick on his butt today. It's the same feeling I get when whacking a ball. He asked for it because he was being such a jerk hogging the comp. I hate it when the computer's all repaired. Everyone hogs it and now, I can't even spend quality time online. Tsk. So I made him cry and I got it from mum. But someone needs to show him who's boss, right? I was so furious that I slept for about 4 hours today, and then I drank coffee. Shit, I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.

I love my sister. We'll always wrestle and we did it when she got back home from band practice in the evening. They will be having a band performance this Sunday at Victoria Concert Hall. I went for the performance last year, and it was not a disappointment. In fact, I enjoyed myself tremendously, I can't wait to go this Sunday. I had an extra ticket, and Mud agreed to tag along. It's been some time, yo. Thank you.

Meeting the girls for street soccer tomorrow. It's been some time and I can't wait to see every single one of them.

Don't worry, I've had better days. (:

2009-12-15T21:08:00.003+08:00

I went down for an interview today with a job agent (my friend). Hopefully she'll land me a job sooner or later.
I asked yana along, since she's looking for a job as well and it's been some time since the both of us got together. Thank you yana dearest, for tagging along (:

Tutoring starts this Thursday and I hope that everything will go fine. It's my first time being all cher-like, I hope the kids will cooperate.
I'm looking for another job alongside tuition and if it happens to be the typical office kind with 5.5 working days/week, I hope that I can slot in tuition somewhere in between, maybe on weekends.
Ambitious, but I've decided to be dedicated this hols. I actually thought long and hard about this, and I guess it's time to have a head start on things. Hopefully, I'll be able to manage.
There's nothing much to do this hols anyway, and I'd rather spend my time outside every day than get all cooped up at home.

Thereafter, the both of us chilled at the library drinking chocolate smoothie. There were so many things to catch up on and we did all that within a time span of about 3 hours. Thank you for today, dear. It was cool.

MCS Farewell Party is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it because I'm eager to find out what's been planned. Whatever it is, hopefully the weather's not disappointing tomorrow.

Cheers.

It's all in the blood, baby.

2009-12-14T01:42:00.012+08:00

I am officially head over heels in love with BP's Emma Kate's Accident.
For one, Russell's flawlessly smooth guitar play. Two words to describe it: mentally seductive. No kidding.
Adding on to that is Kele's high falsettos which gives me pinpricks just listening to it, and for once, the drums actually captured my heart with it's slow, rhythmic beat.
What else? The song's lyrical meaning is a direct criticism of physical abuse. I'm near suicidal listening to this. It makes me sickeningly high and extremely emotional at the same time. Saddistic? Nope. Pure genius.

Event of the year: Family Gathering.

Something that will be held every year without fail. It's one of the many gracious events that I've always looked forward to, ever since I was a toddler. Blood will be blood, and for me, family bonds will remain forever strong.
This year wasn't like past years with a family chalet to end the year. I guess everyone's busy schedule interfered with the whole plan. Then again, that doesn't deter Bosri's family of four generations to go for a family dinner at Sakura International Buffet. 50 plus person, mind you. We nearly wrecked the whole place down with incessant laughter and high pitched squeals.

Nope, it wasn't just dinner. Thereafter, all of us headed down to the bowling alley. It was a showdown between the different districts. Jurong VS Pandan Gardens. Final verdict? No idea. There was a fair share of accidents, though and moves. Falling face down on the ground, crawling positions, kneeling, The Flying Eagle? You name it. My mum always ends up INSIDE the lane after rolling her ball. No, you have no idea.

Bowled till 12.30am. And a nice family picture after that. Thank you Bek Yek, for the treat at Sakura's. I hope these ties will remain strong for the generations to come.
Four generations and counting.

2009-12-12T13:37:00.004+08:00

Here's something I'd like to share. Thanks to Kak Faiz, I found this post on her blog, and I immediately fell in love with it because it is breathtakingly beautiful.

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

- Bob Marley

2009-12-12T13:12:00.006+08:00

"What's with the stuck up look?" Mum said.

I remained silent.

"Come here and give me a kiss, will you?"

She held out her hands, pulled me close and kissed me right on the cheeks.

I hugged her real tight. Ibu, I miss you.

2009-12-11T13:07:00.011+08:00

Deep down, I honestly wish that I needn't have to slam the door after every conversation I had with mum. It's heart wrenching. And I wasn't like that. I'm not like that.
I don't like this, I don't like this at all.

Moving on. Remember those posts that I've promised I'll update about? Yeah, I figured I'll get to it now since I'm not doing anything much for today. So here's an ultra long post.

29 November 2009 (1200am)

Iezah is legal. Hah! Obviously the birthday girl expects something from her closed ones right? I'm 18 for goodness sake. I knew something must have been planned, so yes, I kept mum the whole day (secretly grinning to myself, of course.)

Then right at about 1200am, this group of jokers; Gadis, Howsun, Shazni and Amir appeared in my room with a lighted birthday cake and an out of tune birthday song. I nearly fell off my chair in shock. What's more, the room blacked out a few mins before and I thought the lights had blown or something.

It was a very sweet surprise la guys, thank you. Yes, these are my dearest Macs People. Whom I heard later on had to painstakingly crammed their butts at the balcony (my sister had to secretly smuggle them into the house.) And speaking of sisters, it was a conspiracy that they had with Jaz. They conspired with her to plan my birthday surprise. Thank you, Jaz.
What a bunch of jokers!- Dearly loved, of course.

And I received Bear, as a gift. A white teddy bear which had her caveman dress tailor-made and hand-sewn by Shazni, for a duration of 3 hours. Congratulations.

1st-3rd December 2009

Tinkle Friend Camp! Okay yes, it was my very first time volunteering for a kid's camp and truth be told, I was nervous because I had been prepped up about the whole thing and I was anticipating the worst. Little did I realize the fun that I am going to have with a bunch of rude, hyperactive yet brimming with life children. Makes me feel all young again. And it also made me realize how unfit I was for catching xD

I was assigned to Group 6, with Xi Hsien and Sherlyn (they helped me out a lot, thank you.) And our little devils consisted of Benjamin, Ming Zheng, Justin, Ke En, Claris, Hannah, Syafiqah and Jun Hui. Yes, introductions was a nightmare because Benjamin was the Bully (he's big sized, but short, HAHA.) Then again, don't underestimate that guy because he's so full of attitude, all of it pretty much negative. I thought that I was going to have a very difficult time with him, but it turns out that he was a very sweet guy (which I think all bullies are, if you are willing to make that effort to talk to them, and learn to get to know them in person.)

I've got to admit that there's a lot of angst in that guy. He is very blunt and rude. But on the second day, during our small field trip to the zoo, he offered me his umbrella when it rained.

Benjamin: "Aiyaa, my hand tired already.." (he actually held the umbrella for me while we walked, aww)
Iezah: "Really ah?"
Benjamin: "YAAA. YOU HOLD, CAN. SINCE YOU SO TALL."

HAHA, the nerve, that guy.
But yes, it was an enriching experience. Throughout the course of the camp, I forged bonds with the rest of the volunteers, children from various groups and ultimately, I've come to love Group 6- The Willing Whales like my own.

1st-3rd December 2009

Class chalet! I only attended chalet on the 1st due to the camp that clashed with the whole event. It was about time we gathered as a class, and I was looking forward to it even if it means having to drag my tired and worn out self from camp all the way to Pasir Ris and back to camp again, the next day.
Lesson learnt, though: I'm not really Superwoman.

Anyway, I zoomed off straight after camp on the 1st and reached Aloha Loyang at approximately 7.30pm only to be warmly greeted with a surprise birthday party at the chalet. I was so touched at the effort my whole class put in, and it was my first time celebrating with the whole lot of them. I was so happy that night, and the one activity that perked me up big time was the mass night cycling that we were going to have later on at 1am. Woots. Class activity! About time, yo.

One bad thing about chalet though, is the array of scrumptious food awaiting your indulgence. BBQ. Aaaah! I nearly died from all those calories and fats. Then again, there was the camp to burn it all away. I ran a lot during camp, esp with those kids with ADHD- they get special privileges to run every 15 mins or so. Good exercise.

Night cycling was a blast. We planned to cycle all the way to Changi Airport to watch planes. But omg, the journey was hell- it consisted of slopes. There were A LOT of slopes. Downhill was fun, but not uphill, obviously. Halfway through the journey, Jingwen's bike crashed and she fell. She sustained only a few abrasions but she was pretty much shaken by the whole incident. We had to make a stop at the nearest bus stop while Jingwen gets treated.

Honestly, the whole incident touched me deeply because it made me realize the strong bonds we had as a class, which we never really knew existed. Only that night, I could see how the girls got together to calm her down, massage her, gave her reassurance that everything was going to be alright. The guys actually cycled all the way to the nearest petrol kiosk to get bandaids (which wasn't actually all that near.) Jerome even cycled to the nearest guardhouse to borrow a first aid kit. But it turns out that the guard was in deep slumber. We were stranded somewhere along the industrial area. Ulu, ttm.

Everyone did everything to help. It was a heartwarming scene. Not to mention that it was already 4am at that time, and I must have looked pretty jaded from the camp previous on in the day. My dear classmates came over, rubbed my back, Peiqi massaged me, hor! They took one look at me and said "Let's go back."

So, we didn't get to cycle all the way to Changi Airport. But we cycled all the way back in apprehensive unison. No one said it aloud, but deep down, everyone knew that we deeply care for one another.
Thank you, 08S32. Thank you (:

Yes, FINALLY! Updates. Updated!

2009-12-08T14:06:00.002+08:00

Seriously. I don't get what's my mum's motive for confiscating my laptop every time she's not happy with me. Okay fine, so she knows what's my weakness. But seriously, at the rate she's going, I am just going to get immune to it.

So I've been going out non-stop for the past 3 days straight. Well, I had camp, so that's a valid excuse. But I seriously have to go out and get prom stuff, and she actually thought I went out for fun. So when I came home Saturday night, the laptop was gone. As usual.

I told you there is no use because I'll just end up becoming immune to the whole I'll-confiscate-your-laptop-if-you-misbehave issue. But it does eventually get on my nerves because please do agree with me on this people, not being able to go online or on fb for 3 days literally suck the life out of me. And it's the holidays for goodness sake. My social life is already restricted by not being able to go out.

So these are the things I did today, to show her how unhappy I was.

1) I burnt her sambal tumis. Well, she asked for it.
"Iezah, go and cook. I want you to cook." And she was at the balcony all along, sleeping. Trust me, I did all this with a long face, and as the old saying goes, if you are not in the mood for cooking, you will destroy the dishes. (something like that.) So I did. It was honestly, a mistake. But I couldn't be bothered to ask her what to do with all the ingredients, and I ended up making a burnt sambal tumis.

Obviously, things got pretty ugly after that when she found out. And as for me, I was expressionless throughout.

2) "Iezah, please hang those underwears out to dry". Jolly well, I did. I hung them OUT to dry. Yes, and she's very particular about exposing underwears in the open. We always dry them inside the house. But they look extra wet today, so I thought I could give them a little sun. She got noisy, as usual.

3) Please don't think I'm neurotic for doing this, but I ALMOST actually did it. Keyword: ALMOST. I thought Bear looked a bit sad from having to wear her caveman dress every single day without fail. So I thought I would give her a total makeover by sewing her a new dress. But I do not have any cloth to begin with, and I suddenly remembered this Hari Raya blouse I had, that was very pretty with sequins and organza material. It was new and I haven't worn it at all because it was a bit too big. So I took that out, but I couldn't find my mum's sewing kit.
So be glad mum, that I didn't get to tear the blouse apart. I think Bear would have looked very fine in her new dress. And it's time that I learn sewing as well.

Mum. Roaaaaaar.

2009-12-05T02:30:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone, yes it's good to be back. Truth be told, initially, I had intentions of closing down this blog for good. Maybe because I'm too tired of blogging, either that or I don't know, I don't have any future plans with this blog.

But surprisingly, a few things happened which made me change my mind. Firstly, the requests I received from friends that I get to updating straightaway after A's, and secondly, a special someone whom I met during a camp in which I volunteered for, a few days ago. The sweet girl was Ira, and it turns out that she was a silent reader of my blog. I was indeed touched, and maybe somehow, it was due to the overwhelming fact that it was all a coincidence, and fate that I'd chance upon her during the camp.

Speaking of which, I am stunned at the thought of numerous updates and posts that I've been missing out on. Of recent events, of course. There was my birthday, the camp, outings, chalet (!). AHHH, okay. See Iezah, this is what happens when you're too lazy to update after A's. Fine. I'll get to it selowly. For the time being, I guess I shall try to get into the mood of blogging. See, I've even changed my skin, added a song.

Ah, speaking of songs, I'd like to thank Shazni, my bro cum music guru for having introduced me to the different genre of songs that I've never really knew existed. It was cool, and for those of you who do check my blog once in a while, I'll change the songs and lyrics okay, and you'll get to experience for yourself the power of music and how it is magically able to soothe the soul. You'll be able to have a feel of the kind of music I listen to. If you like them, well, I'll be more than happy to share them (: And do spread the joy too, yeah.

I'd like to thank (goodness) a whole LOT of people. Like a lot, but for now, I shall prioritize and thank a dear Maureen, who has been there since the fasting month of 2009! She's like my dear tall, protective jie who looks out for me often. And she was the one who introduced me to the childrens' camp, that I tremendously enjoyed. Thank you, dearest Maureen.

Not forgetting this bunch of people that I've been with and I've only ever gotten to know this year. The Macs People. I can't really say what they did, but all I can say is that they make me happy. And I like that a whole lot, thank you. They made my sweet Eighteen an unforgettable one as well. But I shall save that for an upcoming post (:

My dearest 08S32 will stay forever dear, in my heart. Because during chalet, something happened. The birthday surprise that they planned was sweet yes, but something happened during night cycling at the chalet which made the whole experience a whole lot more sweeter. But I shall save that for an upcoming post as well (:

And it's 2.30am. I shall be off now. Looking forward to the date with Zakiah later today.
Good night.

2009-09-17T15:30:00.003+08:00

I received random ikea gifts from 2 precious people yesterday, and I find that surprisingly sweet and adorable of them.

They got me:
A blue pillow
An orange kitten
A green storage box

I've been missing Fingers ever since she left and I was down for a little while, so the gifts were really cool.
Thank you (:

Hari Raya doesn't feel like Hari Raya at all. And it sucks. Mum baked all the kuih raya on her own this year, and I feel terribly guilty cause I've been out most of the time. I can tell she's pissed and all and I'm sorry, ibu. Hopefully if fate decides, I'll live long enough to see first day of raya and ask for forgiveness.

I'm in the midst of preparation for A Levels. So Allah, please give me strength. Amin.

Something Good Can Work

2009-09-14T15:22:00.003+08:00

There's a spanner in the works you know,
you gotta step up your game to make to the top.
So go!
Gotta little competition now,
you're going to find it hard to cope with living on your own now.
Uh oh!
Uh oh!

Let's make this happen, girl
You gonna show the world that something good can work and it can work for you.
And you know that it will.

Let's get this started, girl
We're moving up, we're moving up, it's been a lot to change
But you will always get what you want.

Took a little time to make it a little better,
it's only going out, just one thing and another,
You know!
You know!

Let's make this happen, girl
You gonna show the world that something good can work and it can work for you.
And you know that it will.

Let's get this started, girl
We're moving up, we're moving up but it's been a lot to change
But you will always get what you want.

2009-09-05T21:10:00.001+08:00

Goodness. Time for a decent post.

So "mendaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak". I've been breezing past every single day with extended hours of sleep right after sahur, and staying up all night wasting electricity. I think it's time that I hit those books again. Actually I did, cause I've been out almost every night with the usual bunch of people. Without them, I think I wouldn't even have thought about flipping those TYAsses open. Thank you, you crazy-retards (:

And I miss my ): I miss my ): I miss you, you, you and you. I can't wait for Wednesday! It's still on, right? Please update me soon! I seriously am deprived of the company. So yupps. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. And yes, speaking of buka-ing outings and stuff, I have yet to decide on our MCS exco buka outing! I seriously need suggestions right after I've decided on a suitable date. So you guys who have had so much fun buka-ing out before, please do give some suggestions on WHERE. WHEN isn't much of a problem, it's always the WHERE. So people, let's all put on our thinking caps and think. Then suggest.

I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now. I must mug now.

I hope that's convincing enough to make me realize how important all that is.

2009-09-03T18:29:00.005+08:00

You see life is a crazy thing
There'll be good times and there'll be bad times
And everything in between
And I don't know which way it's gonna go.

If it's gonna be a rainy day
There's nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain.

Somehow, I'm trembling from within.
I don't know why, but I am.
And fear grips me like no other. I'm afraid.

Rain

2009-09-01T16:58:00.002+08:00

Raindrops falling down from the soft fluffiness of the clouds above
and I relish in joy at the picturesque sight.

They look like precious diamonds, oh pretty raindrops. Like teardrops. Like dew.
They make me smile, I hope they make you smile too.

Pitter pat away little tiny crystals of water;
your natural beauty a splendid wonder.

I love you, rain.

I stayed up all night with report but

2009-08-30T14:22:00.001+08:00

My
Ustazah
didn't
come
to
madrasah
today
.
.
.

T H A T ' S I T.

I AM GOING TO SLEEP TILL BREAK FAST. Bye.

And finally, it's done!

2009-08-30T06:30:00.006+08:00

It's 6.26 am now, and I've finally completed my report.
"Pembaratan Ilmu Islam"

A three-page report minus the cover and bibliography page.
(pats self at the back)

It looks like I'm Wonderwoman again, today.
And I will be showering and getting ready for madrasah right after this.

Hopefully I don't die for presentation later.

Thank you to my dearest saviour, Ainah, who was still wide awake at this hour. My printer broke down and you became my knight in shining armor. I can't thank you enough, sweetheart.
But, thank you.

2009-08-29T15:38:00.002+08:00

She feels the wind tugging at the loose strands of her hair.
The cooling breeze slapping gently at her face, her glazed look indicated towards the horizon far beyond.
She sat, knees hugged tightly to her chest and tried to decipher her surroundings.

Smiling, as she picked on the blades of green grass surrounding her feet.
A thousand faces, a thousand places, she has seen, she's been.
The azure blue sky carrying soft cotton - like clouds that drifted past and when she looked up, her smile widened.
Blue blue skies, so bright blue beaming down at her from up above.

For having sat at the same spot, waited for so long, her whole body felt numb.
It's time to go, come on, she urged.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
It's time.

I want us to

2009-08-29T15:19:00.002+08:00

Let's just go out and settle this together, okay?

Because I'm not gonna shed another tear on this one, it's not worth it.

Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City

2009-08-27T13:22:00.009+08:00

This is a world of dreams and reverie
Where I felt the stars explode around me
A grass blade flashed with a gleam as it slashed open a moonbeam
And I stared back breathlessly as mountains of fruit tumbled out
I barely had the chance to shout
A strawberry avalanche crashed over me

Staying awake that night was rather hard
Deep in a sleeping bag in your backyard
When we woke up buried alive beneath the fruity landslide we both laughed hysterically
It could've been just another dream, but I swear I heard you scream
A strawberry avalanche crashed over me

Always a citrus constellation in the galaxy, scratched on the back
Of both my eyelids that I've been dying to see
If you were a beautiful sound and the echoes all around
Then I'd be your harmony and we'd sing along with the crowds
Beneath the candy coated clouds of strawberry avalanche,
please crash over me

See the world of dreams and reverie where I felt the stars explode around me.

Warning: This song may cause a sudden burst of joy and you might be overcome by that dire need to dance in front of the mirror.