Well, it's going to take some time for all of it to sink in. I expected it to happen.
But when it finally did, I guess I couldn't handle it as well as expected.
And in the end, it's that tremendous loss that I felt inside, which became unbearable and difficult.
Something that you have worked so hard towards, in the end, you have to let it all go.

It's not gone, but you're not going to be there doing it anymore, and putting in your best.
I weeped for that. I teared for all the hardwork we've put in. I sulked at the thought of not being able to lead. Not anymore.
And I cried for having to let go of something so precious.
The endless sweat, effort, tears that we've put in, will of course be credited (on paper) but the satisfaction of carrying it out won't be there anymore.
And I just broke down at the expense of everyone, clouding my thoughts.
How these people have stood loyal by my side, wiped away my tears and constantly reminded me to stand straight and look up.
To never let anything affect me; because no matter the situation
"We're all in this together"

And finally, emotions flowed, because it gets overwhelming and I couldn't hold it back anymore.

Which I vaguely recalled, a moment last year.
I saw him standing up there at the podium, giving the opening speech, welcoming students from those west-zone schools.
I was only a facilitator then.
But how I looked up to him. His leadership qualities shined up there, he stood with his head held high.
Confidence overflowing from the speech he gave.
And only 18.
There and then, I was adamant.
I were to be the next him.
And give that speech, all the same. One fine day, next year.

Well, for once I thought that I was finally doing something right. That, I've been useless enough as a leader, so now I can finally prove them wrong.
I am going to take on this responsibility and make things happen, this year.
We never had any major events did we.
I was so geared up, even though I was convinced that this event would fail. Because of the planning and prep. Because of time.

But how wrong I was, because people changed me. And I finally thought yes, I can do this. I can.
In the end, I won't be able to. It will be handed over to the new excos.
And it won't be our project anymore.
No matter how badly I wanted it to remain ours, deep down I knew, it's impossible.
Our fame's over, we have to make way now, for others to prove their worth.
And hopefully, my next me would be more responsible, take initiative, and shine; like I never did.

Yes, we will have an MCS meeting, together with the new excos; officially handing down our posts, our titles, our red bag, our cute file.

It will be an MCS meeting indeed; their first and our last.

So much for wanting to study MLL in the library yesterday with Shiqah and Nadiah.
Like cool gitu, right after chem, intended to bang on Malay Lit.
Cool what, seeing that we'll be having 2 days of NO school. Our MLL paper's this Friday.

So us enthu people, decided to mug at JE library, at the same time catch up on a lot of stuff.
Turned out that we didn't get to study much eventually, but I'm just glad we were there.
I'm just glad that I was there, together with them (:
Hoho.

Apparently Shiqah and Nadiah are now official permanent residents of JE library, Level 3. They seemed to know people whom I don't.
I'm just a Macs-dweller. I practically lived in one near my house.
We happened to talk about the different people we met while mugging over the hols and this convo came up.
("I get to see my ex-crushes la, eye candies la, old aunties la"- usual inhabitants of the so called JE library, Level 3 I bet)

Nadiah: Oooh, Shiqah has a boyfriend in the library.

Iezah: HAH?! WHO WHO? Chinese? Malay?

Nadiah: ...Indian.

Iezah: Woaaahhh shiqaaaah. Extreme, but not bad.

Shiqah: WHAT. He's not Indian la, he's a singh. That one also you cannot differentiate!

Nadiah: Eh really? He didn't wear the turban. Must be a Singh modern.

So what Nadiah was trying to say was that, Shiqah's boyfriend doesn't wear a turban, because he's a modern Singh.

HAHAHAHA, okay (I misheard our Nadiah) Paiseh! I thought she meant "Singh muda" or young singh.
Then again, Nadiah's so frank an answer cracked me up. I never knew there was such a thing as the modern singh x)

Not to mention the kind of hilarious terms we've discovered while flipping through the Malay-English Dwibahasa dictionary.
(Do you know that the cube root is actually called "Punca Kuasa Tiga" in Malay?)
I bet you guys didn't know that mwahahahaha.

Cool kan, like some Ultraman move before he starts summoning up his powers out of nowhere, so he calls upon the...."PUNCA KUASA TIGA!"



Well, let's just say that I got to clarify my doubts about certain things yesterday.
Thank you Shiqah, thank you Nadiah.
Yeah, I remembered our bet. (IMMA SO GONNA WIN IT, YO.)

(evil laughter)

It's those simplest things in life that we appreciate the most.

Regardless of where we are, regardless of any situation, we'll somehow be able to make the best out of it. I'm indeed blessed to have been surrounded by those who I am with right here, right now that at times, it hurts to have to think of where you'd end up without them.

Speaking of which, I terribly miss having those closest to me by my side these holidays. I miss them so so much, I brought them along with me when I go to sleep. So I dream.
About Shiqah, Yana, Nadiah and Zakiah.

The funny thing about study groups is the kind of crap you bring along with you to study. Not to mention how much laughter one gets to enjoy in the process. Somehow the distraction is always there, the focus is never there. But then again, the kind of help you receive is indeed worth the time. Yesterday's study date with Keena, Jo, Shazni and Amir would be best described as disastrous. Then again, those funny moments with them are indeed worthwhile.

Jo: Eh, I'm surrounded by Malays! Keena, you are surrounded by soccer people! Shazni you are surrounded by girls! Iezah you are surrounded by uh..uhmm...

And so Jo and Keena had PMS. And Shazni, well let's just say that he had his own case of lower abdominal cramps.

Iezah: I'm surrounded by people with PMS cramps.

They are just so, random.

"Psssttt...Iezah, this macs toilet is on the second level is it..?", whispers Keena.
(HMMM. HAVE YOU SEEN JURONG EAST MACS? GO FIGURE OUT HOW MANY LEVELS IT HAS)

So there she goes. The Keena (:

I think the most disciplined one's Amir, he sat one corner and FOCUSED. Haha, good for him.
Then again, I think he's living in his own world half the time. Hoho.

Shazni: (shows Amir the Math June Hol Assignment wksheet) Eh have you done this?
Amir: I've been looking for that!

rofl.

Went to IMM with keena thereafter to check out her socks at Fox.
I dated her the whole evening. And I enjoyed it a lot (:

Yesterday was a fun day.


"It's those simplest things in life that we appreciate the most." Indeed.

The navy blue FBT jersey felt sticky against her skin. Drops of sweat trickled down her forehead and she wiped it away with the sleeves of her jersey. She flinched as the synthetic beads that were collected inside her long socks grazed against her bare skin. In irritation, she flicked and dusted away the black beads which got tangled in her jersey and shorts.

Something rolled into sight which caused her to push her body forward. She lunged into attack and with a swift kick, her legs gave way. In a split second, she flung her body into the air and stretched her arms sideways, just in time. Just in time, to deflect a moving ball away from the net. It hit her right palm, and rolled away.

That was when the second attack came, but her senses were sharp and she pushed herself up, dived forward, and curled her body around the now stationary ball. The ball, which almost fell victim to a second shot. Using her body to shield the ball, she pulled it tight against her chest. Instantly, she felt the impact from the kick the girl gave. It missed the protected ball, and scraped sharply against her back.

She felt the sharp pain, but nothing could replace that feeling she felt. Euphoria.

Okay, someone's complaining about a decent post, right Mud?

Complain Queen.
So okay, I do admit it, I haven't done a PROPER post in ages. Set aside all those drama infested emoshits, and random posting of pictures. I've yet to do a proper post.

Since today's a Thursday (somehow Thursdays are my super-happy days). Come to think of it, I'm always happy every other days, but during these hols, the Thursdays are prominent in my almost pathetic life. Okay here I go emo-ing again. No, I shan't, not in this post.

So I missed a lot of posts, what happened last Thursday was my long awaited 9 Jam bbq with the AJJC people.


I'm just anticipating for more of such gatherings. Seriously.
If I could sum it all up in one word which I will, it would be "Fantastic".
A bit pathetic la, but seriously, it was. Fantastic, I mean.

We had Pesta Bahasa's dry run today.
To be someone way up there, being in-charge of everything practically drains the energy out of you.
You are just so afraid that you'd screw up. I'm sorry.

I think I can imprint a brand across my forehead that says "Clumsy".
And Fiqah, Wani and Keena would officially give their approval.
Dammit la, do you know I'm having butt cramps from that?

Yes, from falling off the chair.
Dahlah orang jatuh terduduk. I practically gave unglamorous a whole new name.

):

You're welcome Fiqah, for making you laugh heaploads today.
And you better not do anything funny on the journey back home ah.
If not.